The Poolie Bunker

you know when it builds up on the plate, and then you put yer toast down not realising its in the wet bit, then you take a bite and its soggy?


I fooking hate that I do

raining again i see

aye

Ah, Salty m'dear boy, what you need is the traditional Wedding Gift of yesteryear - a Toast Rack. As Auntie Delia points out, storing the toast horizontally means that steam can't escape from the underside, leading so soggy toast and the dreaded condensation on the plate. By storing it vertically in a toast rack, so says Delia, the steam can escape properly leading to reduced condensation on the plate and a crisper slice.

Of course, it's also stone cold, but you can't have everything.

Half-frog that you are Salty I thought you would have known how they do it in French restaurants.
Serve the toast in a table napkin, which keeps it warm AND dry.

Pervert

as if I've been in a french resteraunt!!

Jesus, Benjamin.

What the buggery fruck is going on in your house???

You butter your toast, you fold it in half, you carry one in your right hand and one in your left and you eat it on the way to the telly, where you have left your tea. There should be no time for condensation, unless you are trying to fold the pages of some girly broadsheet newspaper like the Independant.

Plates??

Fookin' ell......

erm, no...
toast, butter, then peanut butter or raw cheese if were well off


plate to keep em on cos i'm gonna drop em with one hand on me tea/changer the other on me cock and the other changer.....


i like my toast hot therefore the condensation occurs!

So with the tea in one hand and your best mate in the other, where's the plate??

On your head??

the plates on me lap innit? hence why the toast got soggy!!!

Well I thought your hand was in your lap?? Unless you've got a detachable chipolata??

ok...balanced on me knees then, or placed on the arm of the couch

still gets soggy regardless

use toilet roll then if you must

Maybe if you tried putting your willy away until you've finished your toast it wouldn't get so moist??

ba-dum-tish!


this morning then, buttered me toast up - but! had the idea of sticking the plate on top of the toaster to get it warm-well burning hot in fact- and it kinda worked! except its a dead hot plate balancing on yer lap etc....toast didn't even come close to being soggy tho...

You speeded up on that ba-dum-tish. Bloody drummers.

The obvious solution is that which they use in better quality hotels, not them what you can book by the hour, like youse lot are used to. Put a nice linen napkin on your plate under your holy ghost.

you sounded like Oli then.....
did I come in too early an all?!!! [awaiting catweasle/dibble saucy edit]