The Poolie Bunker

Another bloody Americanism, referring to football clubs and bands in the singular instead of the plural. Today in The Times, THE BLOODY TIMES, LAST BASTION OF EVERYTHING BRITISH:

'Liverpool is understood to have made enquiries..........'

NO!!!!! Liverpool ARE understood........and Arcade Fire IS NOT on tour, THEY are on tour. Just how much longer before we drop the 'away' fixture when 'Hartlepool United at Doncaster' appears in the papers.

FOOKIN MEDIA STUDENTS SHOULD BE PUT IN THE TOWER!!!!!!

While I'm at it, in the same bracket, there's a cricket correspondent in the Telegraph insists on writing, when someone gets caught, that 'he HOLED OUT at third man.........' THAT'S GOLF YOU THICK GET, YOU'RE A SPORTS WRITER WHO CAN'T TELL HIS SPORTS APART FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention maths!

Quite a lot of these statements are due to evolving language and no one is more guilty as we are.

For example; English has more French in it that we British care to admin - 3000 words I believe.

All of the words ending in -able such as: table, comfortable, applicable, cable etc. are French
All of the -arys : contrary, military, commentary etc. are all French with a slight change (ary to aire)
All of the - ible words: possible, responsible, compatible, horibble. again are all French.

A language expert called Michel Tomas came up with an interesting sentence to illustrate the similarities (there's another one)

Translate this into French:

What is your impression of the political and economical situation in France at the present time?

To non French speakers at first glance is looks and sounds complication whereas in truth almost all the words are the same in both languages. Get the point?

It's the same story with Spanish to a slightly lesser degree and although I don't speak Italian I suspect that that being a Latin language the above is probably true there too.

This french was introduced to English in 1066 when we were conquered by the French (the Normans were obviously from Normandy) and they brought their language with them. It then got mixed up with the existing olde English that the Britons then spoke so we end up with this mish mash of a language we call English. And you Sir have the gall to complain that its not spoken correctly!!!

Funny enough, the way the yanks speak the language is closer to the original that ours. 'let go eat' for example translates into Latin far better than our alternatives.

Right, firstly, shurrup, listen.

I don't mind being a French speaker, I quite like the French, France and most things about the place. They drop atom bombs near Australia and when the big bad Aussies protest they flick the v's at 'em. I don't even mind being conquered by them although if I'd been around (no, I wasn't you cheeky gets) they'd have had a harder job. They just knew to pick on noncey Sussex where they're all girls and homo's.

And I'm aware that our language is evolving and the American version isn't. It wouldn't surprise me if them fookin' dinosaurs are REgressing.

BUT!!! Hartlepool is United, one thing cannot be United therefore Hartlepool United is a plural. As a plural the verb conjugation is ARE not IS. Therefore all football clubs are an ARE not an IS. As for bands they are also known as 'groups.' A group is a multiple and therefore the verb conjugation is again 'ARE' not 'IS.'

So fo ok off!!

Depends on which language you want to apply it in.

by the way, the French learnt something too; they took note of our white flag and decided that from henceforth it would be used as the French army's colours. To this day whenever there is trouble the French wave their historical white flag.

on the tennis yesterday I heard "thats a great play" at least 15 times, how my telly is still intact is a miracle




FOOKIN AMERICA

yeah, I thought he was on about death of a salesman or summat!

No, I are not.

Classic piece of Hartlepudlian that eh?? 'I aren't!!'

Shouldn't that be "orrible"? (both the Poolie and the French correct pronunciation)

Old joke:

2 French paratroopers talking in a bar,

Para 1: I was at a British Parachute training camp this week it was orrible! (see?)
Para 2: Mon Dieu!
Para 1: This orrible sergeant major took me up a 10ft platform and said "jump". I said I'm a member of the French paratroop regiment this is beneath me.
Para 2: British swine!
Para 1: He then took me up a 20ft platform and said "jump" I said I'm a member of the French paratroop regiment this is beneath me.
Para 2: Orrible!
Para 1: He then took me up in a balloon and said "jump". I said I'm a member of the French paratroop regiment this is beneath me. He then took out his large penis and said that if I did not jump he would shove it right up me!
Para 2: Sacre Bleu! Did you jump?
Para 1: A leetle bit at first.

I'll get me coat.

My Telly wouldn't be intact if it had fecking tennis on it!!!!

a game every now n then i can tolerate
the commentators i cant..

for pleasure or pain

I'd like to suggest that she's worth one but you wouldn't go following Cliff in would you??

Would you be following him tho?

He must bat for the other side. Reckon that was just to throw the media off the scent.