How many sheets of paper do you use?

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 23006

More than three is a waste so the old saying goes: one up, one down and one to shine.

parmopooly · **Posted:** Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:24 pm

half a full roll at least, and then a load of those wet ones to negate the need for secondary and even tertiary wipes later on. By then I've usually dropped another half a farmyard's worth anyway

BillinghamPoolie · **Posted:** Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:26 pm

Sounds like I'm nearer your end of the scale than Mr I's.

TickhillPoolie · **Posted:** Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:02 pm

Use the Daily Mail..............shit to shit.

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

When i used to have dumps at our lasses i used to line the bottom of the loo with toilet roll, so it made no noise and caused embarrassment.

oldest trick in the book that.

aido87 · **Posted:** Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:11 pm

yeah, but have you seen the size of your arse philly ?

its like a dredger's bucket :shock:

Jonny · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:54 am

Does anyone else use the scrunch ball method of wiping?

jockthemonkey · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:14 am

Mr I wrote:

More than three is a waste so the old saying goes: one up, one down and one to shine.

that is very true in the field of action
but if you still operate in private life with this system may i suggest theapy :shock:

poolieinnottingham · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:36 am

Sometimes I'll release a few brown trouts, and there is virtually no residue around the nipsy. Then other times it's like a claggy toffee dispenser which requires half a roll to clean properly. I reckon its got to do with what you eat/drink. If I've had a good session on the stout my Richard the Thirds are more like one long stream of black treacle.

Spender · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:39 am

Usually around the full dozen I'd say.

The Oriental bog roll is of course designed for the Oriental Ronson and is therefore somewhat lightweight in the face of the Occidental botty.

Anyway it's only 60p for a dozen rolls. :grin:

So you can wipe away without compunction. :wink:

BillinghamPoolie · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:14 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

Usually around the full dozen I'd say.

The Oriental bog roll is of course designed for the Oriental Ronson and is therefore somewhat lightweight in the face of the Occidental botty.

Anyway it's only 60p for a dozen rolls. :grin:

So you can wipe away without compunction. :wink:

It might be cheap, but you aren't thinking about the environmental impact Kev. :grin:

mouldy old dough · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:25 pm

The 3 shell method for me if its good enough for Sly Stallone in Demolition Man its good enough for me.

verbalkint · **Joined:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:08 pm **Posts:** 3135

why do women feel the need to use a boxing glove full its not like they knock out big sloppy ones

monkeehanger · **Posted:** Sat Mar 08, 2008 9:49 pm

BillinghamPoolie wrote:

Pooliekev wrote:

Usually around the full dozen I'd say.

The Oriental bog roll is of course designed for the Oriental Ronson and is therefore somewhat lightweight in the face of the Occidental botty.

Anyway it's only 60p for a dozen rolls. :grin:

So you can wipe away without compunction. :wink:

It might be cheap, but you aren't thinking about the environmental impact Kev. :grin:

Is that your Clingon Footprint?

Spender · **Posted:** Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:47 am

BillinghamPoolie wrote:

Pooliekev wrote:

Usually around the full dozen I'd say.

The Oriental bog roll is of course designed for the Oriental Ronson and is therefore somewhat lightweight in the face of the Occidental botty.

Anyway it's only 60p for a dozen rolls. :grin:

So you can wipe away without compunction. :wink:

It might be cheap, but you aren't thinking about the environmental impact Kev. :grin:

Ah but I am Mr Billingham, you see if the economy on arse fodder results in gold coins on the skivvies, the resulting increase in detergent use to remove them will mean that there's more pollution in the water table. :wink:

SuperGordonWatson · **Posted:** Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:45 pm

Bring back IZAL MEDICATED, I dont think! bbolt

Just which side of that were you supposed to use, the glossy or the matt?

parmopooly · **Posted:** Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:27 am

poolieinnottingham wrote:

claggy toffee dispenser

The Poolie Bunker

How many sheets of paper do you use?

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