The Poolie Bunker

because I went to Barclays, they said my card had expired and I couldn't use it - so she cut it in half and gave me this number to ring, because! they should've sent me a new card but I didn't recieve it, so! they needed to cancel the unrecieved card and issue a new un.
simple enough, untill you ring the number 5 times because the robot doesn't/can't accept my password.
whence I do get thru I gave my details and explained the situation to 5 different Indians who passed me from pillar to post cos they all f ucked it up one way or another...

the more you get asked to repeatedly give your details cos they can't understand you drives you mad and makes you sound like Mr.Angry!!

"is that E for Echo and S for sugar?!"

"no....its....B for Ben......and F for Fred" [francois but they'd never get that!! ]"*said sloooooowly

you're post code please.....is that B for Bravo F for Foxtrot?!


AAAAAAAAAAArgh no its f ucking T for f ucking Teesside!!!!


anyways must have cost me a bloody fortune that call....d'ya think the bank will pay it for me?!

Change banks.

hmmmm

I need a drink!!

It used to be a lot simpler when you could call into your branch and they would sort it all out for you.

We had broadband problems once, if I heard

"sir, can I put you on hold for a maximum amount of time of two minutes and no more"

once, I heard it a thousand times. Really I should have timed them and demanded a refund if they went over two minutes.

Tiscali by the way, when it's working , when you have to ring support

definately!!

they must realise that foreign call centres don't work and only put their customers backs up...

I could give you the reverse scenario, where, when ringing your long term bankers, no names mentioned, the Halifax, it takes up to half an hour to give them security details six times, only to get through to a Scottish person working the night shift, who, a. doesn't want to be there, b. is incomprehensible (yrrr neeme ageen, hen??... ....eh??.......) and c. can't make a decision.

It's a right bounder.

AND IT"S OUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!

I remember the days when I didn't have a phone or a bank account either....it worked perfectly

Well yeah, but it must have got a bit cold sometimes sleeping rough on Seaton beach....

Well, at the rate Salty's going he'll have a phone and a bank account AND be sleeping rough on Seaton beach

as long as I have a bottle for company I'll be fine...

Problem is Sir Benjamin of Gin-Redwine-and-Scotch, there'll probably only be a message in it.

And that message will read....'your message is very important to us....we will keep you waiting no longer than is necessary.......your bottle is in a queue.....do you like jazz music 'cos here's an earful.........' and when you open the bottle Courtney Pine will spring out....

That would make a great sketch, of the Monty Python ilk

I seen Courteney Pine last summer at the worldmuzac festival in Whitby

fecking dreadful!! one of those occasions where I envied the deaf, the others being at 'church'

You've got to admire the lads persistence, in trying to follow his script for whatever he was trying to 'sell' to the 'gentleman' concerned.

I saw his as well in Finsbury Park.

Okay you can make a brass instrument sound like it's giving bith to a mastodon.

But is that it??

i bank at Barclays and jammed my card last week in argos too many numbers you see by the time you do your order
gets to the till tries three times to remember number to pay card locked
went to asda used the card ok
walked round to barclays drew out the money went back to argos and paid
the bank had a new card for me in four days went to asda the following day and the new card would not work

i blame the shops

i rang dheli for the car insurance last week and in pidgin english we got through to the bloke who said i will put you on hold for two minutes while i process the account i listened to twenty minutes of jaimie cullen and hung up after twenty minutes and had to ring back the next day to find it was ok