The Poolie Bunker

Dennis Wise claims Leeds United remain a bigger club than Derby County, despite being two divisions below The Rams.

Derby boss Paul Jewell has been linked with a move for Leeds striker Jermaine Beckford, although The Whites put up a swift 'not for sale' sign.

However, The Rams are continually linked with a £3million move for the former non-league striker, leaving Wise to question why someone would leave Leeds for the relegation-threatened Premier League club.

"If I'm being totally honest, then, why would you go from Leeds to Derby?" said Wise. "You just wouldn't.

"I understand where we are and where they are, but this is a much bigger club than Derby.

"I've been in this job just over a year and a lot has happened.

"There are places we want to go - and that's out of this division and out of the next one as quickly as possible.

"They're our ambitions and it's what we want to do."

I'm sorry but a lot of men in football are just bonkers

You wouldn't get all that if women were in charge

Nah, they would make their way to the dugout, think they have left the gas on, go back, check, come back out, on the way out phone their sister, check the gas was off one more time, get the dugout, have a cry, eat a load of ket, then say 'oooh hasn't that number nine got great legs

You have a very deluded view of women Talbot.

No I don't it was a joke

which reminds me

'Sexism is a one way street, which only woman are allowed to drive down....'

It's not unusual.

a*

If women ran football..... hmmmm, where do you start? there'd be no night matches, they'd interfere with the soaps on the box. On the odd occasions floodlights are needed, they'd be replaced with four huge standard lamps, two traditional with tassels and two modern ones. Strips would change weekly as they'd quickly become 'dated'... Stadiums would be all seater with a varied mix of soft furnishings and scatter cushions arranged in a random pattern. Catering would alter dramatically, more figure friendly food. They'd inevitabley want to interfere and change the rules...things like every player gets a ball each so the gimpy ones don't feel left out. The grass on the pitch would have to go... a nice beige/cream heavy duty carpet should fit the bill along with a few rugs and the white lines would contrast nicely if replaced by a coffee coloured ribbon type material. Swags on the goalposts. the matches would have to stop for 5 mins every 5 mins for chatting breaks. Offside would be abolished and there'd be two keepers because one must get lonely by themself .
All this is based on the thoughts of my good lady wife, who would have helped me more, but won't appreciate me waking her up to ask her ... she'll do her fishwife impression if I do that AND WE DON'T WANT THAT...any more suggestions?

give all the fans matching outfits.

tom...never ever give 'matching outfits' to a woman, that is like asking them to seriously damage your vital organs.

ok ok errrrrm how about for a half time show have tom jones for every match (even the ones that start at the same time and are 300 miles away from each other)

Well, you're a trier tom...I like that.

not my fault, if im out with a lass i dont tend to talk about what there perfect football match would be

there should deffo be more women at football, it would reduce the q's at the beer and pie stalls at half time, really do need to get served much faster, dibbs sometimes has palpatations waiting in that Q, get more lasses actually serving and a bigger fryer for the chips, also a few dancing girls in cages would be nice jigging away to tom-hark......

I did get one decent idea off a bewer about football once (regrettably it wasn't 'do you want a season ticket for your birthday') but she said that all the top clubs should start in the FA Cup qualifiers and bring the third and fourth in for the third round and the non-league for the fourth.

'That way it'd be fairer on the little clubs and give them more chance......'

Sorry did I say decent?? I mean absolutely fookin' lunatic.

As Mrs Snowy would have been quick to point out - had a woman been in charge we would now have a back line of Jack Ross, Ben Clark, Micky Nelson and Hugh Robertson.

Jack's little geographical dilemma would have been ironed out right away....the kind of problem women have to resolve every day. And Hugh's knee injury was clearly a male botch up from beginning to end. Knee problems just don't last as long as that. There was something ridiculous about it