The Poolie Bunker

Does anyone else find it very difficult to get on with them?

At the moment mine are down for a few days to see their new grandson (stopping in a hotel thank god), are are doing my napper in.

Mother in law is completely used to getting her own way all the time, and getting father in law and her daughters to run round after her. She is not used to people telling she can't do/have something, and spits her dummy right out when you put your foot down with her.

Last night I managed to get the bairn into a semi-doze, which requires turning all the big lights off. We were opening the bairn's presents from relatives, and she held up a big blanket and asked if she could put the light on. 'No, you'll wake the bairn up' I told her. 'But I want you to see this' she replies. 'No, I can look at it later, you'll wake the bairn up' was the reply from me. The cheeky cow put the light on anyway, resulting in a startled bairn. Then had the gall to look offended when I shouted at her to turn the light off.

At tea time I went and got chips to go with a pie we had in the oven, and whilst she was fannying about doing something else I couldn't wait, so put my portion of chips on the plate and started eating them. She booled into the front room, said 'I'll take some of them for Karen' and grabbed a handful off my plate. She hadn't even checked to see if I'd got any chips for Karen (I had). I warned her that if she did owt like that again I would stab her hand with my fork, and she thought I was joking.

The there is the hen-pecked father in law, who tries to assert some kind of authority in himself by going round the house meddling with things that need 'attention'. A bit like the Harry Enfield 'You don't wanna do it like this' character but with a Scottish accent. Gardening, plumbing, fencing, wiring - you name it, it needs sorting and he's the man to do it.

The cheeky bastad has twice had the nerve to adjust the central heating without being asked, because in his opinion it wasn't running efficiently. Then you can be talking about any subject under the sun which he might know something about, and he deliberately disagrees with you in order to appear knowledgeable and important. What I end up doing is leading the conversation round in circles, then point out when he contradicts what he said earlier. Otherwise I would have to punch him.

All this behaviour results in me and our lass arguing about them, as she is reluctant to rock the boat and lets them get away with it. And they have the bloody nerve to say things to our lass like 'I wish we could get on with John better, but he's always in a mood' or 'why doesn't John want to spend time with us?'

Sorry if this has been a rant, but I've found it all very therapeutic, and all I can say is thank fook we're away at Bristol tomorrow which means I'll have to be absent for a good ten hours.

oh you poor bastard !!! I know exactly how that feels....

you have my sympathy




once I drunkenly said to my mother-in-law in an argument that I bet she had a bitter tasting c unt....we never really got on after that!

Mine are fine.

I can't understand a bleedin' word they say.

Salty,you are a hero

There should be a law against them, PIN. (an in-law law )
In a way it's worse if they live miles away as you then have them for days on end instead of just a couple of hours here and there, if they're in the same town.
And you're right, the spouse/partner should come first in any conflicts, and be backed up.

Thank God all that's behind me now. it was a nightmare when we were first married

Yep.




Opposite way round for me.

I agree with Grabec. Mine are just around the corner but it means that 99% of the time I can just send the wife round to see them on her own rather than me having to be bothered by them.

Maybe I've just been lucky but never had a problem with in laws. Even Pocahontas's mum is fine with me. Mind you on the quiet I bet she wishes I was an Indian Doctor.

i must have been really lucky as i had the best inlaws a bloke could ask for
from 15 to 60 i never had a better friend than my mother in law

Was it her that kicked the bottom of the ladder away the other day, Salty ?

They can get vindictive y'know.

Mine is way ok as well... it is just you lot.. RIGHT IAN..

my mother in laws ok,i just call her attilla the mum

I usually nail a cross on the front door when my mother-in-law is about to visit.

funny as f-u-ck!!!!!

PS our lass's mam and dad love going out on the pop as much as we do!!! They were up here last night getting pissed!!!!! They're as much two of my best mates as they are in-laws!! I don't even think of them as in-laws, more like drinking buddies!!!!!

My future in-laws are teachers..... so you can imagine how nutty they are. Teachers by day mentalists by night. I think they are cool as like, i do only see them once in a while like but maybe thats the best way?

Frank, have you still got your Zebra patterned Ford Escort that is camoflaged(?) behind the goad at the Rink End?

Mr P.I.N rant over and stress relief for you but i found that post hilarious mate . Ps i'd of stabbed the _ _ _ _ _ too if she tried to nick me chips.

I thought it was an orion?

My mother in law (in all but marriage) is a bit of a bell end to be honest, she looks like a potato and shouts all of the time. Can't abide the woman. Her husband is a sound bloke and a good laugh.

Father in law has gone too far this time.

When I got back from the match they were still here, and the cheeky, disrespectful bastad told me that he'd 'sorted out' my shed.

You do not mess with another man's shed.

I bit my tongue for our lasses sake, but I've told her that if he ever does any more meddling they are not welcome any more. I can't believe the fooking cheek of it. I'm generally a laid back person but I'm fooking fuming.

you need to chill out man there will be a time you might need to rely on the out laws
any way what have you got hidden in the shed other than a stack of back issues of play boy

I wish I could Ian, but the fact is I can't trust either of them, and I wouldn't be sorry if I never saw them again.

I've got nowt to hide, although the cheeky swine said to me disapprovingly 'You do realise you had a box of lager in the shed?'

Just because he is teetotal as his wife does not let him drink he thinks it's OK to cast judgement on people cos they like a beer.

There is a man's code and he has broken it.

Sounds like a Darlo supporter to me.

I've been very lucky, by the replies on here, with my in-laws. My appreciation of a fine wine is solely due to the education received from my late father-in-law, and I consider my mother-in-law as a friend, who can always be relied upon in times of crisis/need. She lives in the next street, but has never been the sort who just appears on the doorstep, and interferes in our life, like the in-laws of poor PIN.

A teetotal sweaty sock, what is the world coming to

Anything to report today PIN, this post has been

he is probably driving them to the station now

Thats the maddest thing ever.
What was the reply by the way?
Poor old Noo-noo imagine having you and Brian as son in laws.

-thanks by the way, I'm getting some very unpleasant mental images now.
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (etc)

Youy'd be surprised but there are an awful lot of them. The temperance movement was pretty big in parts of Scotland (still is), and our lasses gran was in something I think was called Band of Hope, which encouraged kids to sign a pledge of allegiance never to take the demon drink.

Therefore mother in law inherited this distorted view of alcohol, and thus will not allow her husband to imbibe in case he turns into some kind of drunken maniac. I've got nowt against people who don't drink, but rather like religion, when abstinence is shoved down my throat in a game of moral one-upmanship I get very annoyed very quickly.

All I can say is thank fook they have gone now, the only problem now will be finding things that have 'moved about' in the house. Mother in law has a habit of absently mindedly (so she reckons) lifting things and putting them down somewhere else (like in her handbag). If that isn't the cause it will be because father in law has decided something would be better stored elsewhere.

The main person to lose out over their anti-social behaviour will be Ewan. If his grandparents were a bit better behaved I would want him to see them loads as I think kids really benefit from extended family, but I will do my best to limit his exposure to their warped ideology and bizarre way of treating family.



This morning we had histrionics from mother in law, who was feeling a bit left out as Ewan was getting plenty of attention (as babies do). So she decides to burst into tears and stomp upstairs. It turns out sister in law has upset her feelings, by 'ignoring' her. Sister in law tries her best to calm her down without losing her rag, then retreats from the situation. Then father in law demands sister in law goes and gives her mam a cuddle to make her feel better. Sister in law refuses, which then creates further tension, diffused by our lass who has to spend half an hour listening to mother in law self pitying.

It has been like living in a League of Gentlemen sketch for the last few days.

I've been thinking about this and I think the best thing you can do is just kill them.
Best for everybody.

Awe bless. Sounds like you're having a hell of a time.

I don't know about you lot, but this is a potential TV series I would like to watch.

Well I've got 3 sets of in laws so you lot got nothing to moan about!!

what you doing with lee evans walsall mom


PIN - in laws - a neccessary evil - had some right moments but at the same time they love their daughter and grandkids so are useful

I'm surprised you never heard about it!
it was round the time of the 'unpleasantness'....

She made Vic take her home, I bellowed 'yer a lucky fella Vic!'
my Dad then proceeded to puor all my white Lightning down the sink. now THATS crossing a line!!!

yes, me and Bri .....family gatherings are a hoot