The Poolie Bunker

...they are on the brink of having the Eurovision taken from them !

Their people have already nearly burnt down the US Embassy - people were even having their pictures taken outside the charred exterior of the embassy, would you believe it



The Serbs have also broken into the Croatian, the British, the Turkish and the French embassies - these countries won't give them any votes this year - could come bottom this year if they don't let Kosovo go....

Nah, it's nailed on, Brian, that the Brits will finish bottom because we're such arrogant bastards, no one likes us, nowhere, never, and despite the wealth of musical talent that we have, we put some gurning karaoke singers in there stinking up the entire procedure.

We should put Idiot Savant in there, but kidnap the drummer.....

Yeah, don't bugger him again this time though, he says it's murder climbing the ladder when his arse is like a labour party rosette......

Why are we arrogant ? Why do we look arrogant ? We never look arrogant, do we ?

Anyway, you heard it here first: THE UNITED KINGDOM IS THE LEEDS UNITED OF THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.

A once great team of competitors, great reputation, except the political voting is like a 15 point deduction in Eurovision.

But didn't the Leeds United of today manage to wipe away that deuction under the leadership of a great British competitor and didn't they CELEBRATE a point in the League away at 'Lickle 'Ol 'Artlepool , where Cloughie was painting our fences whilst Sandie Shaw and Lulu won the Eurovision ? !



Can we win this contest ? If "eleven braw lads from the far off North" could get to the Play Off Final and become EIGHT MINUTES AWAY from the Championship and nearly beat the so called mighty SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY, then...

...Three words for you: YES, WE CAN !

Signed
kentishpoolie
Optimist Extraordinaire...because optimism pays the bills !

Have you ever considered serial masturbation??

It's much more rewarding than the Eurovison Song Competition.

No. Why ?

No, that's habitual masturbation.

Serial masturbation is where you knock one out after another, without good reason.

But it's still better than the Eurovision Song Contest.

As is hammering tin tacks into your eyes.

Is that like knocking one off into a bowl of cornflakes? Thats disgusting. I prefer milk.

Oh no sorry that would be ce.......