The Poolie Bunker

My phone number is 1 digit different from their bloody accounts department so my phone's been ringing non-stop for the last 2 hours

It wouldn't bother me if it was just people ringing up but some of these people have been transferred through by agents on their main service desk. I've tried to ring them to ask them to take care but all I can get is hold music. It seems i'm more efficient than the bloody Setanta accounts department

Is there anything official I can do or do I just have to stick it out?

When someone phones tell them you have to put them on hold and just leave the phone next to one of your speakers with some shit music playing

or alternitivly if you hate setanta tell them to welcome to the board, that way there loosing buisness

There is scope for fun to be had with this, but each time the phone rings my conscience gets me and I just tell them they have the wrong number and give them the right one. Think i'm losing it, I'll be dealing with their account queries soon

Do you have an answerphone? If you do, record a welcome telling any callers the right Setanta number, and telling anyone who is actually trying to get you to shout 'Yloop it's XXXX pick up the phone'.

I only have BT 1571 so I can't even do that, the annoying thing is now...my family are ringing me to wind me up more

go along with it proper pretend they have the right number and help them with there troubles then at the end just say "sorry my baths ran" and go

I had a similar problem some years ago, when I lived in north yorks, and my number was similar to the local hospitals, catering section....in the end i ended up ordering 500 steak and kidney pies, 300 pork, 450, cornish pasties, and 200 on trial meat and potato......then i phoned the hospital and told them and that i will increase all the orders everytime someone rang my house, they sorted it then!

Bit of an update:

Had a few more calls last night and decided that seeing as nobody could get through to the proper number i'd "help" people

The first guy wanted to cancel, I advised him that if he stayed he could have 3 months free and the next 3 months at half price. He seemed quite pleased with this. I gave him a "reference number", told him to call back through to customer services with it and they would sort it all out. He was very pleased with ym service.

Second caller was a lady who also wanted to cancel. I advised her to leave her sky box off for 2hours to "Clear the cache" and call back through.

It does seem to be a cancellations line, anyone got any ideas on how I can "help" them? I always tell them to ring back through so I don't cost them money or anything, I don't want people to be out of pocket or out because of me dicking about

I Hate you I do wor kid!

Back in Partypool as you are aware, I need to be back in town for about 6pm so so not too many pints la'

Back to Hull on Sunday afternoon for some pub action and all that jazz.

Find out the name of the Chief Executive and when you give them the reference number and the promise of freebies tell them to say to the Customer Services line that the reference number you've given them guarantees them to be connected to the Chief Exec during office hours and that they should insist upon being put through. Even go as far as to give them a second reference number which they should quote if they are refused being put through to the Chief Exec which guarantees them a full year subscription free of charge.

Tell them that they can only cancel if they repeat after you three times:

I'm not a phesant plucker, I'm a phesant plucker's son.
I'm only plucking phesants til the phesant plucker comes.

If they want to cancel tell them that you're working your notice cos you think Setanta are cack too, but you know a trick that if you pour coca cola into the card slot on your set top box you can pick up Setanta free of charge after the subs have been cancelled.

I'll try to set something up tonight

I think a bunker talksport invasion could be fun!