The Poolie Bunker

Just got back from seeing my daughter singing at the Christingle service at Allendale Church (this does get better). As I was gazing around the cavern full of God botherers who should I spot but Uncle Ken Hodcroft himself singing Oh Little Town of Bethlehem with unnecessary vigour.
As any well balanced Poolie would I stalked after Ken at the end and "overheard" him explaining our current slump by stating that we're playing well but "just can't score goals". I was sorely tempted to launch into a rant conjuring up the demon Scott in the process but instead showed great cunning by simply walking directly behind Ken as he filed out. I kept saying, "Don't sell James Brown" in a god like voice...he didn't turn round but did glance up at the ceiling and started to sweat a bit before crossing himself. I reckon he was planning to flog the Godfather of Soul to the highest bidder in the January sales but now that he knows about the heavenly father's feelings on the subject i reckon he'll keep Brown at all costs and we'll stay up no bother.

...and here endeth the first lesson, Amen!

If there's a crime in impersonating a police officer then surely there must be one in impersonating god himself?
Still, I think you were a pretty diplomatic god as many in that position might have given different divine advice than dont sell james brown

Fair point, but I was trying to get the feel of a merciful but threatening God, forgiving Ken for earlier Scott related sins but making it clear that we need to strengthen up front not sell. Obviously a man in Ken's position is more used to giving orders than taking them so knowing that a vengeful deity who is a poolie is watching him might get him to think carefully about transfer policy- accidents can happen when my wrath is aroused.

how apt on the anniversary yesterday of this great poolie