The Poolie Bunker

to be fair like there is way too many fat kids about, and kids is eating way too much shite.

when we were bairns we got ket once or twice a week if that, we fasted for 40 days and nights in lent, and your easter egg was one of the high points of the year.

there was no such thing as fast food and you ate what you were given or you starved to death.

you got in from school, got given your tea, and then played football with your mates.

for 5 hours.

every night.

if there was 3 foot of snow you got shovels out and cleared the pitch or went sledging.

some sundays we played football from 1 till 9 non stop. 8 hours like. the final score sometimes would be 187-143.

we drank council pop ( water ) from the tap, every day except thursdays when the pop man came.

i think i got given a malted milk biscuit once ( them with the cows on ) when i was about 7 for doing something good. possibly helping a pensioner.

on your birthday you got cake and them round iced ring biscuits with a hole on the middle.

television had been invented but i dont recall watching it.

you did a paper round or a milk round and you walked to and from school.

every year at school had a fat kid, some years had two fat kids, but by and large most kids were very thin. our fat kid was called brendan tapping, and he got bullied.

a lot.

i watched an american football game on sky at the weekend ( cleveland vs miami ) and almost 3/4 of the crowd were fookin huge and munching on pigs entrails in the shape of a huge penis between chunks of white bread ( i believe its known as a hot dog ) then swilling it down with a watered down jug of fizzy sugar.

i would eat my own shiit before id eat a macdonalds.

our fat kid was called brendan tapping, and he got bullied.

a lot.

please dont tell me he topped himself in his twenties or is currently living in a booze-fuelled pit of despair.

i would like to think he recovered from the bullying and went on to be a top surgeon or something